Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
