I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
