yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
