My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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