Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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