please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
