he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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