things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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