spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
