He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
