Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So many bounce houses so little time
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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