saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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