Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
