so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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