The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
