remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
