david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
