then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
