I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
