HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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