Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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