tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
