I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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