my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
