I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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