Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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