3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
