she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize