she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
