We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
where am i from again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
