The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
