Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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