somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
