Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I FOUND THE LEGS
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
