awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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