I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
