Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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