I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
