Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
