hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
