i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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