He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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