He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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