stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
