i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
