dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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