We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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