if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
