About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
