Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
