I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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